Ah, poop. Feces. Excrement.
The great universal low-brow laugh. The embarrassing yet unavoidable bodily function that affects every human in one way or another.
I recently had a pretty fascinating conversation with some friends about their most memorable poo stories, and it seems like everyone has a muddy tale worth sharing. Whether funny, embarrassing, confusing or just disgusting, this series will focus on sharing people's poop (anonymously) for the sake of entertainment!
In this edition of 'Muddy Mishaps', we visit 3 short stories of fecal intrigue that will be sure to make you feel... something.
K - Female - Florida
"I was at Olive Garden with my family. I think I was maybe 14 or 15 and it was my birthday, so I wanted to look nice. I was wearing a new skirt. I remember my stomach was kind of funny that day, but it didn't get really bad until like 30 minutes into dinner. I felt like I had to fart, so I tried to lean and let out a silent one. I immediately regretted that since I could feel something warm and wet come out. I got up as discretely as possible and quickly walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and there was a brown streak on the back of my skirt. I hid in a stall and cried for probably 20 or 30 minutes until my mom finally came looking for me. She helped me clean up as best as possible and sneak out, but I'm sure the rest of my family knew something happened."
R - Male - Maine
"The only story I can really think of happened to me as I was parking to participate in a road race once. I opened my car door and noticed something partially stuck under my tire. When I took a closer look I realized it was a pair of underwear full of shit. Im not just talking about a stain either, but chunks of poop. I thought that was a pretty weird place for poopy underwear"
S - Female - Colombia
"This story actually happened to one of my mom's friends, but it's pretty incredible. So she was on the very first date with a guy, at dinner, and she had to shit. She went to the bathroom, obviously trying not to be too obvious about what she was doing. It turned out she had to shit REALLY bad, because what came out was so big it wouldn't flush. She tried a bunch of times, but it wouldn't go down, so she had to leave it. That was all fine and good until the waitress came to their table and demanded she flush her poop. So now, the guy obviously knows she took a huge shit and that it won't flush, but he is a gentleman and actually helps her fix the toilet so it will go down. That was their first date; now they are married."
Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons