Muddy Mishaps: True Life Poop Stories - Volume 2

Humor

Published on January 16, 2016

It's that time again, when we vicariously relive intriguing poop stories through those who experienced them firsthand!

In this edition we explore a floating turd, a spontaneous diarrhea stop and a scary poop adventure in a strange city.

The Floating Turd

T - New York - Male

When I was younger, me and my friends used to go to the lake to hang out quite a bit. One year, I was at the lake and I really had to poop. My friends, a mix of boys and girls, were all egging me on to poop in the lake. Not one to turn down a challenge, I climbed down a ladder on the side of a dock, and pulled my bathing suit down. I don't think anyone believed I was actually going to shit, but I pushed, and I felt a nice sized log slip out. Well, I thought that was the end of it, but suddenly, that turd bobbed up to the surface right next to me. Everyone, including me, started laughing hysterically at the massive poo floating slowly towards me as I was hanging, pants down, in the water.

Grandma's Generosity

B - Bogota - Female

I was going to university on the other side of the city, so I had to take a bus like an hour or more each day. One day, towards the end of classes, I started getting terrible waves of that "I'm going to have diarrhea" feeling. I managed to make it through the rest of classes, and even get on the bus, but I immediately realized, as the bus bumped up and down, there was no way I could make it all the way home. My grandmother lived somewhere in between university and my home, so I got off the bus near her house and (carefully) ran to her door. I knocked, and she answered with a surprised look on here face; "what's the matter?".

I said "Grandma, I REALLY need to use the bathroom!".

She let me in, and I ran to her bathroom where I proceeded to have some atrocious diarrheas. In true grandmother fashion, she also made me soup and took care of me for awhile before I made the rest of the trip home.

Scaring The Shit Out Of Me

R - Florida - Male

A few years ago, I spontaneously decided to drive from Florida to Maine. Awesome trip. Well, on the way there, I was driving through Philadelphia at like 1am and suddenly had to poop really bad. I was somewhere near the airport, so I first attempted to drive around and find a way into the airport to shit. There was nowhere to park (obviously) without paying so I abandoned that idea, and managed to find a Walmart. I don't know this city at all, but wherever I was was pretty eerie. There was a strip club across from the Walmart, and some pretty spooky characters stumbling about under the influence of substances I can only guess at. I parked at the Walmart, one of maybe 10 cars there, and quickly marched into the store. Inside, the situation wasn't much better. Strung out hookers and homeless people seemed to be the only "shoppers" that evening, and the bathroom was atrocious. I put probably a whole roll of toilet paper on the seat and hovered about an inch above it to relieve myself. When I was done, I literally ran out of the store and got back on the road. One of the more stressful dumps I've ever taken.

Photo Credit: The Poop Monster

More Articles