Study: 90% of Anger Caused by Stupid People

Humor

Published on March 28, 2016

In a recent study conducted by BOOMplop scientists, a direct link between anger and external stupidity has been proven beyond a doubt. Though this link has been predicted for the better part of a decade now, this is the first time scientists have been able to produce empirical evidence of the connection.

The study used a cutting edge technique involving facial recognition technology as well as brain wave monitors to measure subjects' intelligence (or lack there of) and anger and then calculate the results in a quantum computer. As you can see by the chart below, the results are inarguable:

Anger caused by stupid people graph
Clear evidence of the anger to stupidity relationship

It should be noted that all experimentation was conducted on adult humans to eliminate the potential for a cuteness response sometimes caused by dumb ass kids and animals.

The key scientist involved in the study, Dr. Benson Ingshnopfelders has said about the results:

"We've know for a long time that stupid people cause most of the anger amongst their more intelligent counterparts, but it was very exciting to produce real results to show the correlation."

Ingshnopfelders went on to explain what scientists understand to be the main catalyst of this anger which seems to generally be the attempt to explain simple topics like current events and logical cause and effect relationships to those without the cognitive ability to process these concepts. Generally, the greater intelligence divide between the stupid subject and the less-stupid subject, the more anger that was produced.

He also went on to describe a unique phenomenon amongst groups of stupids that scientists have tentatively dubbed "dumb saturation":

"This is a very fascinating phenomenon where groups of severely stupid people tend to not get particularly angry on their own. We believe this is because they will tend to pass around fairy tales to explain their environment, essentially remaining in a long term child-like state of ignorance. If you however seed the group with a made up story like, oh, sharks are coming and they hate America, you can very easily stir the stupid people into a frenzy of unjustified anger."

We at BOOMplop find this study fascinating and hope to hear more as the research continues.

NOTE: This is obviously a fake scientific study. If you actually believe that scientists conducted this study and the results are fact, you actually kind of prove that this is real, and have thus made me angry.

Image Credit: Alena Kravchenko

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