When I was about 15 or 16 I bought a small book at a new age shop about various plants that could get you fucked up.
Besides the fact that I hadn't been experimenting with mind altering substances for very long, I lived in a tiny town where the more interesting drug varieties were quite hard to come by. So as I scanned through the pages of my new book I was amazed at how many common plants had purported psychotropic properties.
I wanted to try them!
I studied the book for a couple weeks, weighing the stated effects of each plant against the claimed side effects as well as how easily and cheaply I figured I could get them. Eventually I settled on morning glory seeds, specifically heavenly blue morning glory seeds as these were supposedly the most potent.
According to my little book, morning glory seeds contained LSA, a naturally occurring relative of the infamous LSD. At this point in my life, I had never done acid, so this alone was a pretty exciting prospect. It also sounded like the only real side effect of the seeds was some mild to moderate nausea, which I was willing to stomach for the ride. I also knew that morning glory seeds were readily available and cheap.
The first thing I had to do was get the seeds of course, and this was quite easy. A stop at a local flower shop in my town and I had the five or six packs of seeds I would need for a good trip. Next, I needed to time it right. I lived with my mother at the time, so I waited until one night when she would be gone for pretty much the whole day and night.
Next, I mixed my potion...
Basically, I ground up the seeds as much as I could, and then soaked them in water for a few hours.
And sometime in the early afternoon, I drank the whole thing.
For the first hour or so, absolutely nothing happened.
I don't remember how long it was really, but I remember thinking it felt like forever; at one point even wondering if my seed concoction was a dud.
My asshole of a book had severely undersold this.
Claiming that the seeds caused mild to moderate nausea.
NO! This was severe, gut wrenching, vomit-soaked face in the toilet bowl nausea that went on for a good 30 minutes.
I didn't stop puking until I had nothing left inside me, and when that was gone, I dry heaved. The nausea was so bad I actually called one of my friends to admit the mistake that I had made.
"I might die!" I told him.
I can't actually remember how that conversation ended or why my friend didn't call for help. Bad friend I guess.
But soon, the nausea began to subside, and my pupils grew enormous.
A warm feeling crept over me, and everything got a whole lot brighter.
Textures became incredibly detailed and somewhat liquified in a similar, but somewhat more mild, way to acid. Color was incredibly vibrant.
I remember playing guitar and not a single note sounded wrong or imperfect in any way. I believe at this point I even called my friend back to tell him how good my music was. Was there ever even a friend?
I walked through the liquidy halls of my empty house and looked at common objects taking unusual forms.
I remember the shadows above the dining room table transforming into cherubs playing long trumpets and laughing hysterically. There was never a bad moment once the seeds kicked in.
Eventually, as the trip wound down, and knowing that my mother would be returning home soon, I crawled into my psychologically enormous bed, and closed my eyes. When my mother did come home, not wanting her to see my still unnaturally dilated pupils, I told her I didn't feel well so I could stay in bed in the dark. She came and gave me a hug, and I remember, with my eyes closed, I felt incredibly small, and my mother felt huge. And that was that. My first trip on morning glory seeds.
No, not really.
I didn't learn anything profound about the nature of human existence or become one with the tree spirits. I just had some fun.
And it wasn't the last time I did seed potion either.
On one occasion, a friend and I did morning glory seeds together on a sunny summer day. I puked in the sink while he puked in the toilet.
We went downtown and I remember seeing a dragon cloud and the red power ranger's face floating in a public toilet.
Eventually, I told too many people about the experience and the flood of high school kids buying morning glory seeds (which in hindsight is pretty fucking weird) caused shops in my town to start asking for ID to purchase the seeds.
They also started limiting purchases to a certain amount of seed packets at one time. So, ya.
I caused that.
And let me be blunt.
By writing this, I am not telling you to do morning glory seeds or any other mind altering substance for that matter. I am just sharing an experience I had many years ago.
But if you want to trip on morning glory seeds... go right ahead.
I don't really care what you do.
And if I told you not to, I know you'd just do it anyway.
My only advice is, make sure you do your research first.
Know exactly what you're getting into.
And prepare yourself for some violent puking.
Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons