Things I Hate That Don't Make Sense

Humor

Published on January 02, 2017

Grapefruit

First of all, I'm not much of a grapefruit guy. I don't particularly like the flavor except MAYBE with some vodka from time to time. Although that is only if that is the only drink I have available.

I have also noticed that many people who "love" eating grapefruit put sugar on it. What the hell are you doing? If you have to put sugar on a fruit every time you eat it, you are eating the wrong goddamn fruit. You want to eat some strawberry shortcake from time to time, fine. Add some sugar. But all I'm saying is, if you can't eat a fruit without ADDING sugar to it, you don't really love that fruit. Oh, and while I'm on it, if you don't like black coffee, you don't love coffee. You love caffeine. Fuck you.

Now, here is where grapefruit gets really confusing.
It's called grapefruit.
Think about it.

I feel like I've heard comedians call this confused fruit out on its name before (let me know in the comments if you know who that would be) but it must be reiterated. First, very few fruits have "fruit" in their name, and the ones that do, I think, pull it off more gracefully. Passion fruit is the fruit of passion. Dragon fruit is fruit for dragons. Grapefruit just sounds stupid.

Plus, there is already a fucking fruit called a grape, which is a far better fruit anyway. So if you need to put sugar on your grapefruit, find a better fruit.
And whoever named the grapefruit, fuck you. You had one job to do and you fucked it up.

Polos

I hate polos for multiple reasons that I feel must be addressed. For starters, I must admit I'm a bit prejudiced against the majority of polo wearers. I associate this type of shirt with old white guys who drive around their gated communities in golf carts, as well as those guys who think that a polo dress code in the office is "professional but fun!".

Well, it isn't.

And what shirt you wear has nothing to do with how much work gets done nor how much fun you have.

I've had fun in a suit and I've had fun in a t-shirt. I've actually never had fun in a polo because I fucking hate them. I'm also generally at my most productive in a tshirt or with no shirt at all (I live in Florida), because I'm not thinking "damn I'm uncomfortable" every 5 minutes. Now, that's one reason I hate polos, but now, the second; their inability to figure out what kind of shirt they actually are.

Am I a t-shirt, or a button up?
That's what a polo would be wondering if it could wonder things.
Polos just don't make any goddamn sense.
They are contradictions at their core.
Polos have short sleeves, but are most often made out of some rough, heavy fabric. So what kind of weather are they for?
They have like three buttons, for some reason, that I never see anyone use. Have you ever seen someone button their polo buttons? I would probably make fun of that person, because it would look fucking stupid.
Basically, a polo is like a shirt that was going to be a button up, and then halfway through the process, was like "you know what? Fuck it. I want to be a tshirt".
Polos piss me off, and if you like wearing them, stop.

The X On Ads Opens The AD!!!

I know this shit has happened to you, and I bet it pissed you off.
You go to a website, and one of those big ads pops open before you can read an article. I have no problem with this. Mother fucker's gotta make money, I understand that. But why the FUCK when I click on the X in the corner of the ad does the goddamn link open up?

This happens to me quite often and it makes no damn sense.
If I'm clicking on the X I want that ad to close.
I'm not interested in what it is trying to sell me. That is why I want to close it.
And I can tell you, it's not THAT hard to make that x work correctly from a web design perspective, so I truly think it's intentional, which is fucking stupid.
I'm not interested, so why would I suddenly be interested if you force me onto your fucking site? If anything, I will just hate your company more now, because you're forcing me to do shit I don't want to do!! Fuck you!

More Articles