We Review BJ's Hotdogs

Humor
Travel & Food

Published on October 13, 2016

Occasionally while grocery shopping you may find yourself at Costco Jr, better known as BJs. And while you are browsing the aisles of this testament to consumerism, you may become hungry. But there is good news! BJs has hotdogs! And today, I am happy to give you the inside scoop on these grocery store meat tubes.

On a recent trip to BJs, I became hungry and stopped at the little cafeteria. I was initially going to get another food item, I can't remember what it was, but the woman at the counter informed me that they only had hotdogs. So hotdogs it was!

First of all, the BJs cafeteria has the ambience of the refreshment stand at a monster truck rally. A nice bit of Americana that suits the food they sell. It's actually hard to tell where the food is prepared, and when the woman at the counter went to retrieve my hotdogs, she appeared to just pull them out of a cabinet of some kind with no real preparation.

The hotdogs themselves were just above room temperature. Kind of like they were cooked by leaving them out in a hot room for a few hours. The buns were somehow too dry and too soggy at the same time...

In terms of condiments, BJs has the bare minimum; a ketchup squirter and a mustard squirter, flanked by a plastic bin full of those little green pickle snot packets.

I used all of them on my dogs.

A heroic hotdog from the BJs cafeteria
My BJs hotdog with mustard, ketchup and relish, ready to be eaten!

And now for taste!

I've eaten more hotdogs in my life than I care to admit, but not many have been as bad as BJs dogs. The consistency was like congealed tapioca that just sort of dissolved in my mouth. And the flavor was like a bland, dirty sock. Really unpleasant. Did I mention I ate two?

So, my advice, if you are hungry in BJs, try to find somewhere else to eat. But if you just can't wait another second, these hotdogs will at least stave off your starvation. Maybe.

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